Trust Matters Most
Trust matters most when two people love each other. Love without trust only serves to make matters worse whenever there is doubt. But why is it so difficult for people to trust the ones they profess to love? Why do people choose to doubt each other when all it ever does is corrode and destroy every fiber of the heart? Why doubt when we can choose to believe?
What do I actually know of the world around me? Everything seems good when I am happy and these same things would seem different if I were to suddenly get upset. Why do my thoughts on things change with my moods? Do things change and affect my way of thinking or, do I perceive things differently whenever my moods change? If thoughts can change because of moods, then those thoughts are only thoughts and therefore do not represent the truth.
So what do I do when I do not know the truth?
The Benefit of the Doubt
Giving the benefit of the doubt is a better alternative to doubting or disbelieving others. It is this positive attitude that nurtures budding relationships into meaningful and lasting blooms. Choosing to believe the best in others sets us in the correct frame of mind that enables us to live our lives to their fullest potential. When we are positive in our mindset, nothing we endeavor to do would ever be impossible.
Giving others the benefit of our doubt allows us to rise above the gloom of fear, suspicion and others forms of negativity. Our doubt in others stem from unpleasant memories of past failures where we had chosen to trust people who had let us down. Choosing to trust people was not our mistake. Our mistake was in choosing to rely on others to do things that we could have done ourselves. Had we been more self-sufficient, things could have been very different.
At this juncture, some of you may disagree with what I have just said. But please bear with me and read on a little more before you form your opinions. Please lend an objective ear to what I have to say.
An Attitude of Self-Reliance
“You can’t cheat an honest man” is a saying that I’ll not soon forget. While I do not agree in entirety with this proverb, I must concede that the underlying philosophy makes good sense. An honest man does not want to impose on others to get things done. Such a man would rely on, and is limited by his own abilities. Whatever is beyond his ability to acquire remains such.
An honest man believes in hard work and would not want to take unfair advantage of others. As a consequence of this attitude, he also would not rush into opportunities that promise very high returns in exchange for little effort or small investments. He would accept that things beyond his reach are not meant to be his.
When one is self-reliant, what need has he to trust others to do things on his behalf?
Trust With an Open Heart
Trusting others with an open heart is possible when we do not put ourselves at the mercy of the goodwill of others. We are asking to be disappointed when we entrust our money in the hands of others in the hope of making more money. Why can’t we entrust ourselves as stewards of our own money? How can we be disappointed with others if we do not give them an opportunity to disappoint us in the first place?
We should trust others but, we do not need to trust others for everything in our lives. Knowing whom to trust and in what capacity such people can be trusted is not enough. People who fail our trust in them do not necessarily do so intentionally; unforeseen circumstances could also be at play.
Know What’s at Stake
Trusting others becomes easy when I know what I am willing to lose. If I’m unwilling to lose the woman that I love, then I should trust her. If I don’t trust her, then I would constantly question her whereabouts and the company she keeps in my absence. Though tolerable at first, our relationship would deteriorate and ultimately wither away should my distrust continue.
When I deposit my money with a bank, I trust that the bank will not foreclose. When I share a secret with someone close to me, I trust that that person will not betray my trust. Even when I sit on the chair in my office, I trust that it will not collapse beneath my weight. Trust is an integral component of everyday living. It is something we cannot live without.
When nothing can be known, trust matters most.
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Hi Terence
I agree with you about trusting with an open heart, my friend, however…once a person’s trust has been violated by someone then I feel that this is a game change concerning the parties involved.
Peace, Love, Understanding and Respect,
Marilyn
Hi Marilyn,
Thank you for sharing your thoughts on this matter, my friend.
I know all too well what it’s like when trust is violated by others. I therefore agree with you when you say a game change is necessary in such a situation.
*smiles*
terence
Trust can be very elusive for some people- more so for people I would say that have not been raised being able to trust in the world and the people around them. I was fortunate to be able to trust my world growing up, for the most part, and you are right, about how IMPORTANT is to trust those you love and giving them the benefit of the doubt. We all make mistakes, and accepting mistakes is also part of understanding trust.
If you can accept the fact that we are all humans and make mistakes, trust can more easily be established, especially with those who admit to wrong-doing and making mistakes. Forgiveness is so important too.
Hi Dorsi,
Yes, we all make mistakes; and accepting the imperfections in others leads to a deeper understanding of the reality that we perceive as the world we live in.
While it is true that some of us can find it within ourselves to gracefully embrace our humanity and the shortcomings that come with it, that same grace should compel us to accept the difference in perception that others embrace.
Inasmuch as there will be those that make honest mistakes, there are also those who have been given the benefit of every doubt but persist in repeating the same mistakes without exception.
There are the takers, the givers, and the watchers. I be the watcher that takes sparingly and gives wherever possible, my friend.
Forgiveness is king!
*smiles*
Trust is only something you have to worry about if you do not have it in a relationship. “Trust” is inherently a negative thing to me. You have to choose to trust someone or something, instead of just knowing the person or thing you are with is RIGHT and the right person for you.
I do not rely on Trust. I just know.
—
Political Disgust
There is much that I concur with, my friend. Trust is a choice. But allow me to share my thoughts on this matter.
I often ask myself if my interpretation of that which I perceive to be reality really is the correct perception on which to base my opinions and thoughts upon. When I choose to believe that others are right, I never forget that such people are true to themselves when they hold on to their beliefs. This is not to say that they are right in entirety.
The fact that I sit on my chair without checking to see if it can take my weight and stroll down a sidewalk without worrying if it will collapse beneath me are examples of how trust plays an important role in my life. The more I am able to trust, the freer my mind becomes.
Regardless, I too do not rely on trust unless I believe that the persons whom I choose to trust are are worth taking a chance on.
Thank you for taking the time to read this article and commenting on it, my friend.
*smiles*
terence
Terrence – you said: The fact that I sit on my chair without checking to see if it can take my weight and stroll down a sidewalk without worrying if it will collapse beneath me are examples of how trust plays an important role in my life. The more I am able to trust, the freer my mind becomes.
Isn’t that “fact” more then “trust”. You don’t actually know that the chair will hold you. you just assume that based on past knowledge or facts you have learned. If you trusted the chair to hold you then you might not think it actually would, lol. It is fun twisting words and playing with meanings. In the end, BOTH ways of looking at it are correct depending on your viewpoint!
Cheers
Yes, my friend: there is indeed more than one way of seeing things.
*smiles*
you sound like you know about a lot of stuff. you tell me if there is a life after betrayal? how do you live after losing everything? how do you go on? what’s the use in living when everything that ever mean anything to you has been taken away from you? like your heart ripped out of your chest. tell me if you know the answers. please. tell me.
Dear f&b,
The more I know, the more I realize how little I actually know.
There is a life after betrayal; I am living proof of this.
After losing everything, the way to live is: One Day At A Time.
You go on by shifting your focus on other things. Stop thinking about the things that hurt you. Think about your other friends or go watch a funny movie. Thinking about the things that you cannot handle is not going to help you. Give it some time. It may take days or, years. But you’ll get there. I’ve been there. I have gone on.
“What’s the use in living?”. Before one can answer this question, the answer to, “What is the purpose of my life?” must first be addressed. Your answer shall determine the use in living.
When everything was taken away from me and I was left with nothing, I began to understand my dependance on the things I “owned”. When I was left with “nothing”, I realized that I had everything I really needed.
The emptiness I felt, and the pain that came along with it, was difficult to deal with. I did some really stupid things back then. I focused away from the source of my pain but got myself into a lot of trouble. So perhaps I am not the best person to be giving you advice, my friend.
all i can say is WoW! great read. keep it up. no 2010 feedback to date?
Sorry for the late response, my friend. I shall try to write more